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Monday, 21 December 2009

obligation

I had an interesting conversation with my sister today. Basically, she was buying presents for Steve and myself... because she should. Which annoys me. Yes, I made something for her (and forgot to photograph it to share here), no I didn't send anything for her partner, yes, she will love it. But it's like the whole Christmas card situation. I sent Christmas cards, but didn't expect any in return, and I don't expect presents in return, either.

Do you exchange presents because you are obligated to? Do you take a stand against obligations, and just go with what you feel is right? Am I wrong to say "I have no obligation to you, I do it because I choose to, not because some society norm tells me I must"?
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6 comments

  1. Hi Cate,
    I was just popping on here to thank you for the gorgeous card you sent me (putting me to shame girl - lol). I don't know how you are so organised - you are a legend. And yes I do feel guilty about not sending you one back, will try to remember next year (but don't hold me to that).
    Merry Christmas to you and your wonderful family. xx

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  2. Interesting thought..I send cards because I want to say "I've been thinking about you this year" and I see it as a chance to say hello to people I don't see very often. Cards from old friends are my favourites to receive

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  3. I'm with you on the obligation thing, Cate. I hate it. And the older I get the more I rebel against it. My sister and I have a similar situation in that she buys-buys-buys and I craft stuff. I wish I still didn't feel that little twinge of "should have done more" every year. I seriously need to get over that!!!

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  4. I've lost touch with a few people who I used to see every day on the school run since our children started school. This september they all started high school and we no longer see each other. I have been pondering this afternoon about christmas cards and have decided that yes I will make the effort. Trying to deliver them in the icy conditions we have in the UK at the moment might be another thing though lol

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  5. I love the idea of obligation free gifting, but unfortunately I still feel guilt twinges because all around me it seems to be expected that if I receive a gift I will give a gift.

    Personally I dont expect a gift back if I give one, it gives me as much pleasure to give a gift to someone as it does to receive one, so why should there be guilt involved??

    Frustrating really ;-)

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  6. Hi Cate,

    Thank you for the lovely card - the boys loved it to - they love them more than the bought things - unless Santa is buying rofl.

    I had many plans over 2009 to get cards made early and to do this and that - For Andy's school friends I bought $2 shop packets of cards & he took them all the last couple of days so people didn't feel they needed to give him one - those that wanted to I figured already would have and he's not a boy who expects things like that.

    I on the other hand spent the night I was going to finish teachers presents and things fielding questions after the death of their school friend who assisted in the classes. I will never regret not getting to the presents as what needed to be done was an important life lesson - I do not anymore get presents 'cos I feel the need to give after receiving - I might feel it but I don't do it.

    Take care have a wonderful Christmas - I have just realised I didn't get enough wrapping paper on boxing day last year - rofl.

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I love reading comments from you. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts. xox

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