One tip for dealing with teenagers

It's no secret that we have moments of struggling with Douglas' behaviour. From throwing chairs to smashing holes in walls and purposely scaring Sophie, he is, at times, unpleasant to be around. And it's been difficult for both Steve and I, because these behaviours aren't things that we grew up with, or that were tolerated from us as teenagers, so we only know one way to respond.

By yelling back.

But as has been shown time and again in our house, that doesn't work.

About six months ago, as he started on another rampage (which usually coincides with being asked to complete evening or weekend chores), I decided to head outside with Sophie. It was for no reason other than Steve was almost due home, it was hot inside, and I wanted to see how cool it was. Natalie and Riley ended up joining us, and we looked at some stars while we were there.

We came inside ten minutes later, and Douglas had calmed down, completed his jobs, and no one was suffering from high blood pressure. Walking away had worked!

These days, it isn't always as easy to walk away (cooler nights, other kids, etc), so we've expanded our arsenal to include not speaking to Douglas, no matter what he throws at us. This isn't always easy, as he throws some pretty nasty words at Steve, but it's a learning curve for all of us.

And we constantly remind ourselves that underneath all the shittyness, he really is a good kid.

Tomorrow's prompt 5 on Friday - places on your bucket list to visit Would you visit other countries, or explore more of your own backyard?

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An InLinkz Link-up

5 social media tips from a teenager

This is a guest post from Chloe. She's going to be appearing here more often, sharing tips for brothers and teenagers, and sharing her stories.

1. Don’t share naked pictures around. No matter what age, but especially if you’re under 18.

Okay so you know how parents say that everything that you share on the internet will be there forever? Yeah, it really is. No matter the social media platform that you share these types of pictures on police can, and will, track them. If you send these pictures out you get fined for supplying child pornography, the person who you sent them to will get fined for possession of child pornography and it’s not really something that you want because that stays on your record forever.

2. Not everyone online is being truthful about who they are.

You’re told all throughout primary school about ‘stranger danger’ and the internet is another entire playing field. Strangers sit around every single corner, they lurk in dark places of the internet and wait to pounce on anyone they can get their hands on. An ex-friend of mine dated a guy she met online for ten months; one day she called and was extremely distressed, the boy actually ended up being another friend of ours and she had been lying for ten months. Be careful who you trust online.

3. Use your time wisely.

This will come as no surprise to anyone who uses social media but it’s a huge distraction. Ten minutes becomes three hours and before you know it the assignment due in tomorrow is long down the drain and you know you won’t hand it in on time. Internet is a tool that can be used for both good and bad.

4. Don’t send anonymous hate.

I understand exactly how social media works and, shockingly, how high school works. I mean somedays I get home and just want to scream into the endless abyss that is social media but I don’t and I certainly will never attack someone on social media through the use of anonymous messages. Online services such as Tumblr and ask.fm have exceptionally high rates of anonymous messaging because services like that are usable, unlike Facebook/twitter/etc. But just because this service is there means that it shouldn’t be used for that kind of evil. From my own personal experience I know how awful it is to receive anonymous hate especially when you look around your classroom and you know that any one of those people could have been attacking you online.

5. Social media is a privilege.

Remember that your parents hold the key to your social media. They can give and take it as much as they want. Sure it’s not something that you want to admit because you like to think that you’re an independent teenager but guess what unless you have bought your phone, pay for your phone credit/wi-fi then your social media is not yours. And until you do those things your social media won’t be yours so thank your parents for having the privilege of social media and don’t break their trust in you.

Linking with Essentially Jess