Sunday 3 December 2023

Dear Family, Cooking is more than just cooking

When helping is really adding more to Mum's load

* not the actual meal in question

In recent times, Steve has decided that he can cook dinner.


Tuesday 7 November 2023

Last Firsts and all that jazz

When you're the last baby, especially when you're the last of 5 babies, there's not much celebration of you (especially from extended family)

We've always tried hard to celebrate Sophie in any way we can, because noone else is walking beside her cheering her on.

Monday 14 August 2023

5 lessons I learnt from exercise

It was a perfect storm of synchronicity.

My doctor had been on at me for ages to lose some of the fat around my middle (to reduce fat on my liver)

 An advert popped up on Facebook

And 3 days later I was joining a gym.


Thursday 23 February 2023

Let me choose to say no

While I'm rediscovering a writing routine, I'm cleaning up my backend, and updating or publishing posts that have sat in drafts for too many years... here's a gem from 2017 that still holds true today.

A few years ago, I had a friend who was about to turn 40. It was a big deal to her, as it is for most women, and she was throwing herself a party. Every time I saw her, she shared details of the party - the fabulous dress she'd bought, the mutual friends who were going, the amazing venue's food. And then a week before the party, she sent me a text message
I know you won't come, but I thought I'd better send you an invite.
I made some excuse about already having plans to go out with Steve that evening, because my mum was visiting.

But it still hurts today.

(Our friendship moved on a few months later, for various other reasons.) 

I kind of understand the reason she did it. When you know someone is struggling with money, you don't want to add to their burden by inviting them to a party where they might feel obligated to spend money they can't really afford.

I mean, I'm always saying no to things, because my budget doesn't stretch far enough.

But sometimes, I choose to say yes.

Because no can be so very wearying.

I can see it creeping in again, people not asking us to join in things, kids not being invited to things, family not celebrating events with us. Because they know the pressure we carry with a tight budget and a big family.

But I wish they would let me choose.

Yes, taking a big family to the movies is expensive, so lets go to a slightly cheaper cinema and all enjoy it together.

Yes, going out for a meal together is a rowdy experience (and expensive now 2 kids eat off the adult menu) so let's go to the pub with a playground again.

I know it's a two way street, spending time with other people, that I should reach out to others more. But eventually, when people say no often enough, you stop asking if they want to come for coffee, go out for dinner, need a hand cleaning up that mess. And that works in reverse, if you say no often enough to others they stop asking.

But don't not ask because you think I might say no, allow me the space to say this week doesn't work, can we do it next week? Or sure, we'd love to come

Because you might be missing out on the best experience of your week by not asking. And you might just change someone's day in the process.


Wednesday 15 February 2023

A Return To Personal Blogging

 As the Covid years recede, will personal blogging see a resurgence? This blogger hopes so.


I've been telling myself for 2 hours now to just start typing.

From the lounge, I can hear Steve talk himself through finding a lost airline receipt as he does his monthly receipt reconciliation.

I need a cup of tea. But I've had 3 already this morning. The last one was cold, I should get up and make another.

But what if no one reads?

But what if I sound whiney crazy?




So the thought process behind writing blog posts hasn't changed in a few years.

I wish I could go back to the easy days, when I had no idea that 400 page views a day was actually awesome numbers for a little old blog that shared scrapbook pages.

Now my brain churns.

It's been so long since I've written.

In 2019, life was busy, wrapping my head around a small part time job and the juggle of kids and work and volunteering and life.

Then 2020 hit, and I pretty much spent the next two years in flight mode while putting out raging bushfires in my volunteer roles (and unceremoniously losing my job at the end of 2020)

2023 feels like something new.

I've been able to hand some of my volunteer responsibilities to an awesome team who are paid to do that work, allowing me the space to focus on the being rather than the doing.

I'm finally making time to prioritise the important things to me, while ensuring the balls bounce instead of break (and that the balls I'm juggling are still the important ones to keep aloft)

And that leads me to today.

When 2023's chosen One Little Word® is SELF, actually doing the thing is an important part of the making time process.

As an Obliger, I'd like to say that it will stick this time, but external accountability in the form of social media sharing doesn't seem to be what makes me show up. But, committing to a meeting at 10am on Thursday, or hosting a zoom meeting on Monday, or publishing a blog post at a specific time is something I can and do show up for.

So, that's what I'm going to do this year.

Consider it an experiment at remembering to do the thing, to become the thing.

For now, I'm just going to focus on getting the words out.

Later, I can get caught up in themes, and being an expert, and taking photos, and all the other stuff that was fun sometimes but not really.

Who knows, I might be good at this stuff?!

Further reading

The Verge - Bring Back Personal Blogging

Suger Coat It - Why I think 2020 will see the return of the personal blog


Saturday 1 January 2022

One Little Word® 2022

I've been choosing a word to guide my year since I first discovered Ali Edwards' blog the week after Christmas 2007.


Most of the early years with a word guide weren't terribly successful.


Monday 4 October 2021

Hello Monday October 4

Hello Monday is a semi-regular series where I share my goals and thoughts for the week ahead and embrace the goodness of a new week.


Monday 4 January 2021

So Colourful - a bullet journal update

To get back into the habit of photo taking and writing, I'm challenging myself this month to use the Fat Mum Slim January 2021 prompts to inspire me.


A new year means a crisp new notebook to write in.

When I looked back on this post, I realised that my bullet journal setup has changed over time, so today I'm sharing my current journal.

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