I went to my high school reunion, and all I got was this lousy pen

Hmm. My head is a swirl of thoughts. Catching up with my girlfriend was super-awesome, meeting her husband was great, and eating good food with her while we chatted and chatted and chatted was really refreshing. We squeezed important information into all those chats - the whole Chloe story, the stories of how we met our husbands, the story of how I ended up leaving the state in the first place. We also discussed our mutual angst about the reunion, and why we were going, when neither of us really wanted to.

 You probably saw my post yesterday about why I blog. By not going to the reunion, I would have been leaving a vital piece of my story out. And my story is hard enough to tell without photos and happy memories, so I needed to keep that long-ago promise to myself to return for the twenty year reunion. And I vow not to go again until at least forty, maybe fifty years.

Most things never change, even when it feels as if they do. Or maybe that's slightly disingenuous - when you're thrown back into a place-of-origin, you revert to those behaviours that saw you make it out the other end alive. It's why so many families find Christmas with their nuclear family stressful, because everyone reverts to past behaviour.

 And this reunion was no different. The school bitch still looked down at me (the exact comment was "nice hair"); there was lots of "how do you do it?" comments (have 4 children); and my friend, who is 40 weeks pregnant and due today, was constantly asked "is it your first?" or "and you're here?"

But, as we reassessed this morning, the people that mattered spent time talking to us (although not one single one of them understood blogging, or Blog Power Events, or scrapbooking). The highlight for me was walking around the school grounds, seeing how much has changed. And realising that even if I still lived in Melbourne, I wouldn't send my girls to the school, because I don't like the changes. (A friend of mine is actually sending her daughter there. It is such a small school that I was excited to find someone who knew about it.)
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I wrote this while waiting for the plane to come home. My head is still spinning a little, but it was definitely an adventure (that I'll repeat again in another twenty years) 

reunion | 20 years in 3 hours

It's reunion eve, and while I wait for the colour in my hair to activate (because who wants to share grey hairs at a high school reunion?), I got to pondering - how do I summarise the last twenty years of my life into just three hours?

Straight after high school, there's the 18 months I spent working for my parents, because I didn't have the grades to get into university.

Then 18 months following that where the whole family moved to Queensland, built a dive boat that was paid for three times over, which then sank on it's maiden voyage, and fought the insurance company to payout while arguing with the bank about foreclosing the family business and having a fire sale on all stock and equipment.

Then there's the year of living with mum, when she finally left dad and I spent more time listening to his crap than hers, while working in a restaurant as a dish washer, before working my way up to kitchen hand, and substitute waitress.

Then there was six months studying and working in hospitality, before moving permanently into waitressing at a then-popular Mexican restaurant before finding out I was pregnant with Chloe (and promptly losing my job)

Shortly after Chloe was born, I moved from Airlie Beach to the Sunshine Coast (where Chloe's father had family, and supposedly more opportunity to find work. He did work, for six months.)

Chloe's dad left two days before her first birthday, and she and I muddled through for the next seven years. We moved to Brisbane when she was 2.75yrs, so I could study at university, and then just after she turned 8, we met Steve.

Most of the last six years since then are written about here somewhere.

There's a facebook group for my old school, and I asked a couple of days ago if anyone else was anxious as I was - two people replied (not counting the girlfriend I'm staying with in Melbourne - who I'm desperately hoping doesn't pop her bub out in the next 24 hours!), and one said "I'm excited to hear what everyone has achieved."

But that list doesn't look as if I've achieved anything. Is having a family the biggest achievement? (I'm a long way from knocking my family, I love them to bits, I'm just mulling over some random thoughts while I wait for my hair colour to colour.)

The one thing I remember most distinctly about my school years is that my desire to be a mum was never discussed. It was always inferred that being a mum wasn't "enough." Now, we are talking the late 80s and early 90s, when girl-power was rife, and women were expected to achieve more... whatever it was we were supposed to achieve.

And, in case you were wondering, I picked an outfit. Photo next week.

reunion | what to wear

I've been totally caught up with trying to figure out what to wear for the reunion in a couple of weeks. Because, as a stay-at-home-mum, I don't actually wear clothes. Wait, that's not quite right. What I mean is that I don't wear fancy clothes, clothes that aren't jeans and tshirts.

So, instead of twisting myself up into any more knots, I contacted the school today, and asked what the dress code was.

Now what does that mean?

Well, according to wikipedia, the font of all online knowledge,

For women, it consists of slacks or a skirt (long or short), a blouse or turtleneck, a fashionable belt, a jacket, a vest, or a sweater coordinated to the outfit, hosiery or socks with boots, flats (leather, suede, or fabric), high-heel or mid-heel shoes. Women may also wear jewelry, such as earrings, that complement their overall outfit

 So, I've been hunting around the internet for examples of smart casual outfits. I stumbled on a goldmine over at birdnest, with shopping made easy (but I'm only using it to gather ideas, like pinterest for clothes!)

The first thing I noticed is all the colour. And dresses. But I haven't worn a dress since my wedding day. And I'm a little scared to start now, because I'm being super-self-concious about my tummy.

I absolutely adore the colours of this outfit! But I think it might be a little too cold for Melbourne.

This skirt would certainly take the eye away from the problem tummy! But it would need a jacket over top.

Another skirt. The black top will keep the eye away from the tummy, and a brightly coloured jacket will finish it off.

Pants! I like the simple-ness of the black (although those shoes would kill me!), although I'd probably find a red or blue necklace for a pop of colour. Love the striped jacket.

Jeans. And a cute bag. And a jacket with pops of colour over a dark top. This is getting close to the winner!

The pops of purple caught my eye. Another skirt, casual top and jacket (cardigan).

This whole process of looking has been fun. Here's what I've noticed about the things I like

• I'm liking the idea of two pieces, top and bottom, instead of dresses.
• Pants aren't as high on my list as I thought they would be (or maybe there just aren't enough samples)
• Stripes and pops of colour are at the front of my mind
• Dark tops are the best way to hide a tummy

I've definitely got some new ideas for shopping this week. I'm even going to talk to my hairdresser about playing with a new style when I visit her later in the week.

making me who I am

I'm getting ready to head off to my twenty year high school reunion in a couple of weeks. It's lead to lots of reminiscing and thoughts about my story.

Ruyton Girls School

In December, 1987 my family moved from the only home we had known in Horsham, Victoria, to Melbourne, Victoria. I had just completed year 8 (2nd year of high school), my sister had one year of primary school to go, and my brother had just finished his first year of school (prep year).

My parents ran their own business, and made the move to pursue government contracts and seek "a better life" for the family. But it was only with the passing of years that I can look back and see that those years played a large part in making me the person that I am today.

I didn't have any friends my first three years at the school. It was hard work, just getting there some days - we lived over an hour's travel in. each. direction. from the school, and often left home in the dark mornings, and returned in the dark evenings.

Resilience is probably the biggest thing I learnt in those years. To get up each day, move through the motions, get passing grades (and they were passing, but only barely.) But it came crashing down when I was in year 11 (the second last year.) I got glandular fever, and was unable to complete the end-of-year exams, and with barely passing grades the school recommended I repeat the year.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about going back. I still didn't have many friends in my final years, and most of them have drifted off (or we were torn apart many years ago when I left Melbourne for Queensland. Remember, we're talking pre-internet days, here), although I am going to the reunion with my best friend from high school, thanks to facebook.

Now I just need to figure out what to wear.