Thursday 19 December 2013

lucky she's cute

When Chloe was about eight months old, we lived in a big town house complex with not many other kids. The highlight of her day was toddling down to the mailbox in that slow, curious, toddling way, checking out every rock on the ground, and every bug making noise in the gardens.

One of those slow, toddling walks saw us run into another mum who was rushing to catch her quickly toddling daughter, and we started chatting. A few more mailbox meetups, and we got together for a cup of tea or two (and some awesome caramel macadamia tart from the bakery across the road - we could polish one of those tarts off in an afternoon!)

Her daughter, Chantelle, was just three days younger than Chloe, and we became close, sharing our stories of past and present as mums do when they connect. Over time, I learnt that she was forty, and had two boys in their twenties, long gone from home.

I remember the first time we discussed our ages. I remember thinking she was mad, having a baby at forty! I'd never do something like that, I had a friend in high school who's father was in his sixties and it didn't seem like fun for her.

Fast forward fifteen years, and I lost touch with Sue and Chantelle a long time ago, but I'm 85 days away from turning forty myself, and I can't figure out if I'm struggling because I'm old, or tired, or if I'm just plain mad like my 25 year old self judged someone else.

But Sophie has totally wiggled her way into our world, and now I can't imagine a world without her. I spend a lot of time dwelling on Chloe not being here, too. And I spend an inordinate amount of time trying to keep Natalie and Riley away from Sophie so I can have five minutes of not-holding time.

Some days, I say "lucky she's cute", and every day I say thank you she found her way to us.
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5 comments

  1. How wonderful for all of you to share so much love. I hope that for you, Chloe will share it too one day not so far away. Angela, Scenic Rim

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  2. Possibly your final thought is the one truth that Sue already knew. I find it endearing that they are still so enamoured of her. I pray that someday soon Chloe will be able to hug you and hold Sophie.

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  3. Oh she is so cute! Hope y'all are having a wonderful holiday season!

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  4. With those huge dark eyes, she is indeed way up there in the cuteness stakes. You are reminding me how ambivalent we can feel about motherhood - and you have your hands so full it is a wonder you ever get any sleep. If I was round the corner I would offer to baby- and sibling-sit so you could have a break for a day .... Xxx

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  5. There. Is so much love in your family, Cate...one day I hope Chloe comes home to be a part of it
    Have a magical Christmas with your tinies
    Much love
    Alison xx

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