Tuesday 8 October 2013

Confession | I'm struggling

"How will you manage with four {six} kids?"

"You're amazing, how do you manage?"

"I don't know how you do it, I can't mange my two {three/whatever}"

I have heard so many variations of these comments in the last nine months.

I'm at the point now that if the check out operator asks "how's your day?" I've started saying "are you sure want me to answer that?"

It's not that I have bad days all the time, but I'm constantly flustered, and rushed, and feel out of control.

I am, for all intents and purposes, a single parent six days a week. And I've been a single parent before, but I only had one child in those days, it was the only thing she and I knew.

But these guys know dad isn't here. And they know mum is struggling, even if they don't realise that mum is struggling. And they play on that, that mum needs to focus on the baby. And it's hard for all of us.

I'm sure the right groove will come. The out-of-control feeling won't last forever, and Sophie will start sleeping during the day for longer than thirty minutes at a time. And I will be able to get more done than stacking the dishwasher and cooking tea each day (oh, how I need to create something!)

And one day I will look back on this time, and wish for it again (but I swear on my life we are not having any more babies!)


  1. Big hugs Cate xo
    The early days are the hardest and it will get easier hun. If it makes you feel any better, my dishes were piled high for two days, my other half has been on laundry duties for two weeks and he has also cooked prwtty much every meal since little Stephanie has arrived. Steph wont sleep unless its in me during the day and I feel guilty that Jannah is missing out on quality time with Mummy... but i know that in a few months things will get easier.
    Try not to sweat the little stuff and focus on those special parts, like sweet little Sophie smiling amd learning to goo and gaa. I know it helps me xo

  2. Hugs Cate!....it WILL pass, but In the meantime just try to stay sane...if that means unhoovered floors for a while then so be it!
    Alison xx

  3. Been thinking of you. I can only imagine how hard it must be with S being away for such a large chunk of time each week. Hope you can find your groove soon x

  4. Hang in there. The kids just need their Mum, everything else can wait. (Oh yeah, feeding them is good - but if it's pizza and chips every night so be it)

  5. Big hugs to you honey, someone said to me once when having a new baby just adopt the attitude that the first six months can suck. I don't generally like to succumb to negative attitudes, but it has allowed me to not put so much pressure on myself and just accept that survival mode is the only mode for a while sometimes. We're doing well here with Fraser having arrived and the family dynamic changing. He is the baby that's settled and sleeps after having Sarah who only slept 20mins a day some days. But boy oh boy Sarah and Cohen are giving me a run for my money. I guess what I'm saying Hun, is go easy on yourself make things as simple and achievable for yourself. If it means a simple as meal plan and you eat the same thing each week for a few months at least it's something, I wish I was closer and old offer to whip around and help. So since I can't I offer you great big supportive cyber hugs. X

  6. So sorry to read of your struggles Cate. You are doing amazingly well especially when you are having to cope on your own most of the week. Hopefully things will get a little easier soon x

  7. This is such a tough time, and I am thinking of you ... Keeping one's head just above the water takes such a lot of energy. Any chance those older ones can be given small cooperative tasks to do to help?

  8. (((Cate))) don't put "normal" expectations on yourself. Relax and for the most part just let life flow. Feed the children, clothe the children, love the children, nap when Sophie (hopefully) naps, create one thing and remember you are an amazing mom.


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