Tuesday, 27 August 2019

3 tips for eradicating the pesky mean girl in your head

Inside - If you've got a constant mean-girl voice in your head, gaslighting your every attempt to be better, then these tips will help you learn to notice her, and overcome. This article previously appeared in my newsletter.

When I upgraded my computer at the start of the month, I also moved my office from the lounge room, where I've been tucked into a corner for 12 years, to my craft room, which used to be Chloe's bedroom. I'm straddling two work spaces, with piles of stuff everywhere, including my desk, which is making it impossible to get any work done.

Today, when I got home from school banking, I was all ready to get stuck into my to-do list. I'd worked out a clear Monday path over the weekend, and I knew I needed to get stuck in because I've got book week costumes to do after school.

But one look at my desk, and I knew I had to take some time to tidy up. Which meant sorting piles of papers on the shelves so I had a place to get this stuff off my desk.

As I sorted through these piles, I heard a little voice whispering in my ear "why didn't you finish that class?"

"What are you going to do with those notes?"

"what a waste of paper printing all that stuff out was."

"God, don't you ever finish anything?"

Do you hear that voice sometimes?



Mean-Cate is a bitch. She has got gaslighting down to a fine art!

But real-Cate has been working hard over the last few months to not let that voice overwhelm her.

Maybe these tips can help you next time your mean-girl voice gets in your ear.

1 - reflect on how far you've come.


Some of the papers I found are from 2007. I looked at them briefly, and made a quick decision about what to do with them (most ended in the recycling.)

If your mean-girl voice is berating you for something you didn't do, reflect on how things have changed in your life since that time. Does the thing still interest you? Will you take action on the thing moving forward? Get rid of it if it doesn't serve you any more, without guilt!

2 - sit with your feelings.


One of the greatest lessons I have learnt this year is to be aware of my feelings, but not let them overwhelm me.

That can be difficult sometimes, especially if the emotion that is coming up is anger, but walking away and allowing the feeling to exist without it exploding on everyone else (or overwhelming me into inertia) is a sign that you're starting to pay attention to the feelings.

3 - take the next step.


Now you've looked back on how far you've come, you've felt the feelings, it's time to move forward.

Release the emotion, have a dance party, sing, and go back to the task you were working on and take the next step.

And that's it. That's how I'm not letting Mean-Cate overwhelm me.
How do you overcome the mean-girl voice inside?

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