Monday 21 December 2009


I had an interesting conversation with my sister today. Basically, she was buying presents for Steve and myself... because she should. Which annoys me. Yes, I made something for her (and forgot to photograph it to share here), no I didn't send anything for her partner, yes, she will love it. But it's like the whole Christmas card situation. I sent Christmas cards, but didn't expect any in return, and I don't expect presents in return, either.

Do you exchange presents because you are obligated to? Do you take a stand against obligations, and just go with what you feel is right? Am I wrong to say "I have no obligation to you, I do it because I choose to, not because some society norm tells me I must"?


  1. Hi Cate,
    I was just popping on here to thank you for the gorgeous card you sent me (putting me to shame girl - lol). I don't know how you are so organised - you are a legend. And yes I do feel guilty about not sending you one back, will try to remember next year (but don't hold me to that).
    Merry Christmas to you and your wonderful family. xx

  2. Interesting thought..I send cards because I want to say "I've been thinking about you this year" and I see it as a chance to say hello to people I don't see very often. Cards from old friends are my favourites to receive

  3. I'm with you on the obligation thing, Cate. I hate it. And the older I get the more I rebel against it. My sister and I have a similar situation in that she buys-buys-buys and I craft stuff. I wish I still didn't feel that little twinge of "should have done more" every year. I seriously need to get over that!!!

  4. I've lost touch with a few people who I used to see every day on the school run since our children started school. This september they all started high school and we no longer see each other. I have been pondering this afternoon about christmas cards and have decided that yes I will make the effort. Trying to deliver them in the icy conditions we have in the UK at the moment might be another thing though lol

  5. I love the idea of obligation free gifting, but unfortunately I still feel guilt twinges because all around me it seems to be expected that if I receive a gift I will give a gift.

    Personally I dont expect a gift back if I give one, it gives me as much pleasure to give a gift to someone as it does to receive one, so why should there be guilt involved??

    Frustrating really ;-)

  6. Hi Cate,

    Thank you for the lovely card - the boys loved it to - they love them more than the bought things - unless Santa is buying rofl.

    I had many plans over 2009 to get cards made early and to do this and that - For Andy's school friends I bought $2 shop packets of cards & he took them all the last couple of days so people didn't feel they needed to give him one - those that wanted to I figured already would have and he's not a boy who expects things like that.

    I on the other hand spent the night I was going to finish teachers presents and things fielding questions after the death of their school friend who assisted in the classes. I will never regret not getting to the presents as what needed to be done was an important life lesson - I do not anymore get presents 'cos I feel the need to give after receiving - I might feel it but I don't do it.

    Take care have a wonderful Christmas - I have just realised I didn't get enough wrapping paper on boxing day last year - rofl.


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