the world doesn't fall apart without me

It's no secret I'm a great lover of social media.

From being not-quite-married for a year, with a 6 month old and two kids at school when I first joined Facebook; to being 11 years older, 2 more babies, a house renovator, dog-mum, still married with all it's ups and down, social media and I have an intense love affair.

You've probably been there yourself.

Sharing 20 random thoughts right now

Inside - Sharing 20 random thoughts

1 - I often buy parcels online, and don't open them until I need the contents. I have two parcels from 2012 here that I have never opened, and can't remember what's in them.

2 - My hairdresser has been cutting my hair for 17 years. She's now a school mum with kids at the same school as mine.

Why I'm giving up the hustle before I start

I sat down an hour ago to map out my ideal day in my bullet journal. It's a great idea, something I've tried to do on a weekly scale, but seemed overwhelming, but as I sat wasting another daycare day by scrolling through Facebook and achieving nothing, I thought I might try a different tactic, and see what an ideal day would look like.

As I sat with my lead pencil and ruler, trying to get the number of hours level on both sides of my pages (did you know there's more PM hours in your day than AM?) I realised that I was wasting time again, only this time it was with pencil and paper, not Facebook.

stop glorifying busy

There's this girl I know - she's got a couple of kids, and a husband, and works a full time job from home. I caught a post from her on facebook the other day, lamenting that yet another friend had dropped her for being a bad friend, and she was full of justification "I'm busy, I work, and the kids, and the husband, and..."

That's about where I switched off in the conversation. Because I get it. I'm the mum who has a baby that doesn't like sleeping during the day. And the mum who has other kids to deal with. And the husband. I get it.

But here's the thing - it's not the first time she's lamented this. She's a repeat offender.

And you know what? It's ok. It's ok to be so busy that you don't know if you're coming or going. It's ok to be so busy that when the kids finally collapse into bed, you lay on the couch thinking "I can't be bothered"

But. And it's a big but. It's not ok to use it as an excuse for lazy* behaviour. Because not responding to text messages? Not responding to PMs? That's just lazy. Especially when you can take the time to respond promptly to facebook comments and instagram messages.

Remember my mantra? "If it's important, you'll find a way; if not, you'll find excuses" Busy has become an excuse. You should be finding a way to connect.

* definition of lazy - unwilling to use energy

{linking up with Jess for #ibot}

Are you always busy? When did you last connect with a friend?

beyond the blog

linking up with Bec at Bloggers Bazaar
linking up with Sonia, Kelly, Sonia and Bron

This week has been tough. Sick kids (three of them!) have meant I'm finishing the week running on empty, and then you might have noticed if you follow me on instagram that we surrendered Steve's Triumph today.

I've made no secret of the fact that money has been hard over the last year. There is finally light at the end of the tunnel; well, not quite, we're in a position now that every spare cent will go towards paying our bills off over the next five years, but we've kept our house, kept our cars, and done the right thing by the people we owe money to. Sometimes, being a grown up is hard work.

my messy desk

I've had a craft cupboard in the kitchen for a few years now, but I've had a craft room upstairs for the last year, so I decided it was time to move stuff from the kitchen to my room last week. And then on Wednesday, I decided I needed to finally sort (and maybe even use!) the Studio Calico kits that I bought last year. Shuffling through everything in the kits sparked my desire to do more, and actually create, but Wednesday marked the start of 3 ill children, so nothing has happened yet. Maybe after the school holidays.

As I'm scrolling through my feedly list every few days, I tag a lot of stuff into Pocket. And I even go back and read articles every few weeks.

Loved this post from The Nerd Nest about busting through creative roadblocks

10 myths about scrapbooking from Simple Scrapper

I'm starting to look for ideas for slightly structured activities for Sophie, so this post from Childhood 101 is heading into the must-do list

I struggle with the balance of me-time and kid-time, so this post from Life Your Way touched a nerve

Breakfast is a big issue for some members of this house, so I'm constantly looking for easy ideas. This buttermilk maple french toast isn't necessarily easy for weekdays, but I love the Baking Bites blog, and have never had a recipe failure yet.

I can not rave about By Regina enough! So much of what she writes speaks to me in a way I had never considered before. I loved this post on the Love Languages of Blog Readers (and totally got the references!)

from The Polka Dot Chair

Forget that this is a sewing reference, it is true of so much we do in every day life. I've said to Steve a few times in the last week "buying cheap doesn't help us if you need to change it to make it work for us", I think he's finally getting the message!

recently I have learnt

that flat-lay is a "thing"

that I waste far too much time on {insert something here}

that I have far more knowledge than I give myself credit for

that it is possible to see the light at the end of the tunnel

that a tired baby will always fall asleep as you get ready to walk out the door

that you don't get back what you give out (but it doesn't stop me giving)

that I don't get anything done after 10pm, even if I've stayed awake to get things done

that I need to read more than 3 pages of my book each day if I want to finish reading it before bookclub on Saturday

that I have to trust that everything will work out

have you learnt anything recently?

a birthday wishlist {30 days to 40}

Dear family and friends, this is a wishlist only, not a shopping list. I've put some items on here that have a higher price point, because a girl can dream when it's a big birthday. I don't expect anyone to buy any of these items for me, but will truly appreciate any gift I recieve.

1. tea cup from the philosophy range at Officeworks or any storage item with this pattern on it.{only available in store}
2. either of these books. I read lots of books on kindle, and it is possible to gift e-books. I've also created a birthday wishlist.
3. a bundt pan has been on my wishlist for the longest time. {link is to an online store}
4. an epson picturemate PM235. It would make doing project life so much easier.
5. Maxwell&Williams sprinkles cake platter {or any item from the sprinkles range, especially mugs}
6. A Janome MyLock 744D. This is my big wish piece. Steve is working hard to make this happen
7. Maxwell&Williams Kimono breakfast cup&saucer. Because that first cup of tea after the kids leave for school should be special.
8. a ruffler foot for my sewing machine. My sewing machine is a Janome DC2101. I have a walking foot, but a ruffler would make it so much easier to make cuteness for Sophie.

not pictured - this class and this class from Big Picture Classes

#30lists | day seven

try to float a boat

carrying empty bottles

strawberries for morning tea

banana choc chip muffins

Natalie and Douglas were out all day at a scouts event

the lounge | first post

linking up to The Lounge at RoboMum

this week's theme tied in nicely with my blog-birthday yesterday.

my very first blog post can be found all the way over here

for a yummy muffin recipe, and my second post, head over here

for more archive-browsing, check yesterday's post for a great roundup of six years of evolving writing

busy hibernating

{and sewing}

staying warm inside while the rain pours outside

trying to rest and let the stress wash away

browsing pinterest for ideas

laying awake at 3am, willing my brain to stop

{last night, I actually lay there, mentally writing a list of all the things I was thinking about. This morning I can't remember any of it}

keeping my blood sugars under control

{and wishing the nausea would disappear}

counting down these last days

{because of previous fast labours, I am booked for induction soon}

day 7 | I'm most afraid of

Wanna know something really silly? My biggest fear at the moment is the silliest thing you've ever heard.


I can't wrap my head around big things coming out of small holes.

I know.

It's not particularly related to having {another} baby.

It's just the whole oozing, squooshy big thing and small hole thing.

I'm reminded of a cyst on my leg a number of years ago that saw me hospitalised for a week or so. When the doctor initially drained it, she packed it with gauze (to soak up the gunk inside), and the removal of the gauze was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. (Yes, even more painful than childbirth.) And it was horrible to look at. Big things out of small holes.

There.

I said it.

But I can still see it, oozing, and squooshing.

Can you see it too?

#baby5 | 30wks | 5 random notes

 

fabric for the triangle quilt

• With less than ten weeks to go, I have to make a quilt. A triangle quilt, no less. As well as sew all that fabric I bought in February and have done nothing with.
• I've never been struck by the urge to nest. Until this morning, when you would have found me on my hands and knees in the shower, scrubbing the non-slip mats. Wonder if it will extend to the rest of the house?
• I've had a rough week with my BSLs. Trying new foods, food I ate last week increasing my numbers, starving myself so they wouldn't go too high, it has been a journey. I'm actually looking forward to my dietician appointment on Monday, so she can help me figure it out.
• Baby hasn't had hiccups, and only given me indigestion a couple of times in the last week.
• She kicks Riley when he wants to climb on my lap, but he hasn't quite figured out what it is yet.

the day the computer {almost} died

I was browsing pinterest yesterday, looking for, um, inspiration as you do, when all of a sudden, the screen on my computer went black.

It wasn't the blue screen of death, so I didn't immediately panic. But I did swear a bit. Because I had things I needed to do.

I jiggled some cords (but I don't know which ones I jiggled.)

I mentally calculated how old the machine was, and remembered we purchased an extended warranty, so any problem was covered.

Then I called Steve.

Because it had been five minutes, and I was thinking of all the work that I wouldn't be able to do with no computer (and using another computer in the house wasn't possible, my machine is the server for everything!)

"Have you jiggled the cords?" he said.

"Yep, done that, if it had worked, I wouldn't have called you."

"What about the power box under the desk? There was a bit of.... mm, stuff, under there the other day, is the power box plugged in?"

"I'm not that silly" I said, as I rolled my chair back from the desk.

"Um, there's a big lead hanging on the floor"

"Well, plug it back in" he said, "and I'll call you later to make sure everything is ok."

{no computers were harmed in the reenactment of these scenes}

where do you go when you can't whine to facebook?

The whole social media landscape has changed in the last year. Boundaries are blurred, between forms of social media, and within the social media itself.

I hardly use my personal Facebook page any more. I feel like I'm always self-censoring anything I want to say, and that was never why I enjoyed Facebook in the first place.

We're so interconnected now, everybody is "doing" Facebook, and there's nowhere to go.

So, if you can't whine to Facebook about the people giving you the irrits because they're on your friends list, what can you do?

Well, you could write a blog about it.

Or you could get a change of scenery, go for a walk.

Bake a cake.

Talk to somebody (oh, wait, that's why you use Facebook, you don't have anyone you can call)

Wait for husband to get home from work and unload on him (but he thinks you're mad for spending so much time on Facebook anyway, so that doesn't really help)

Take a deep breath.

Refocus.

Remember, they didn't really mean to upset you, they weren't really thinking about how their actions would affect you, they were only thinking of themselves.

Anyone for a Bailey's?

most people I know think that I'm...

As I was wandering around my blog recently, looking for a post I know I wrote, I stumbled on this awesome post. {I must have been a bad blogger in those days, here's the link to the post I copied from} I thought it might be fun to update the answers to those questions.

1. Everyone knows that I'm forgetful, but you'd never guess that it's related to anaemia


2. I'm proud to admit that I like vegetables but my guilty pleasure is chocolate


3. I'm inspired by pinterest and it surprises me when people pin me


4. I'm always clean but I'm never tidy {still}


5. I've got lots of stuff but I've always wanted less


6. I tried to get organised and it didn't work


7. If I never take the kids to Disneyland it will be ok


8. I didn't act on my ideas and now someone else is


9. It's not that I'm lazy but I'd really rather not play outside


10. Doing the menu planning makes me hungry


11. Someone once told me I'd be a good teacher and then I became a scout leader


12. I'm happy to say that the chaos is life and even grows on you

 Did you answer these questions originally? Have your answers changed?

linking up with Essentially Jess for I blog On Tuesdays

ebb? or flow?

The kids are back at school. We survived the "ex"cyclone last weekend. Husband has been off work for two days because of power outages. Today I've planned six months of cub scouts programs.

We muddle through the days, often with the sound of the tv in the background.

Riley sings "miss polly had a dolly" with funny word changes

Steve says "is this all you do all day?"

the rhythm of our days feels messed up, out of sorts

but it's still early days after the holidays, so that will change as we pick up speed again.

This year, I'm only leading one scout section. But Natalie is starting joeys, meaning I'll still be out a couple of nights each week, and meetings every other Monday. But I hope the pace will be slower, less expected of me.

But, I know that come July, my focus will change. That's taking some getting used to. There were no plans for more children, we've been quite happy, learning and loving the children we have. So making this adjustment feels... strange. I'm already making plans, but it still feels surreal. Is this really happening?

Well, yes, it is, I remind myself each time I lean over the toilet bowl.

so we move with the days, sometimes blindly, sometimes with conscious effort, always looking forward to the next step of our journey.

Maybe one day I'll figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

do | creative practice

I've been trying to write this post for two days now. I want to write about having a daily creative practice.. And I found some amazing articles related to it (several just in my google reader), but the words keep escaping me.

See, daily creating hasn't become second-nature to me, like I want it to. Take today for example - I have sorted out my sewing tote, checked on my fabric stash, washed three loads of clothes, made two trips to the supermarket, and eaten ice cream, all in an attempt to avoid creating something or writing this blog post.

Maybe I need to change my definition of a creative practice. I mean, writing a blog post is a creative practice. Baking is a creative practice (oh, how I miss my oven). Scrapbooking and sewing are creative practices. Nope, seems my definiton for me is spot on.

So, what's stopping me? Is it the small child who crawls out of bed when he realises mum's not there (no matter what time that is)? Or the busy evenings of meals inhaled before racing out the door to lead scouts or attend a training meeting or a leaders meeting or a parents meeting? Or is it just that I'm not supposed to do it?

But if I'm not supposed to create, then why spark the passion? Why fill me with a love of paper and fabric and creating by hand?

Is it my juggling skills? Am I putting too much pressure on myself? Am I just making excuses?

Maybe I need to get mad at myself. When I got mad at myself yesterday, I hopped on my bike and rode two laps of the block. Doesn't seem like much, but it's more exercise than I have done in two months. And, children permitting, I'll do it again tonight after souts. (although tomorrow I'll mix it up with a walk on the treadmill in the afternoon - it's going to be a late night of meetings)

Maybe Deb's words really are true!

words on wedneday | survey says

Thank you to everyone who answered my survey last week! I figured out, with much muttering-under-breath, how to create charts in Excel and make them purple!

It seems that most readers of this blog are scrapbookers, bloggers or crafters, with 12% family (hi mum!), and 13% other (all of the above)

43% of readers found the blog through one of Shimelle's classes, reading for longer than one year. (Chances are the class in question is Blogging for Scrapbookers, first run in 2009, as that's when most of us "met") Although 14% of readers found the blog through a forum (which I haven't been an active part of since 2009), and 29% followed links from other blogs.

{this was hard to understand in shades of purple}

Overwhelmingly, 21% of readers come here to scrapbooking layouts, which I haven't been doing many of lately. Tutorials, photos and can I borrow that idea? are popular posts, as were some of the 100 days to Christmas posts. And nobody likes reading the memes from other blogs (like Piquing my Pinterest - which is okay with me if you like can I borrow that idea? instead!)

 The only change that was suggested was som consistency, something I'm working on so I can post 100 posts for 100 days to Christmas this year. I also need to follow through on the committments I make to myself, I've missed some pretty great guest post opportunities in the last couple of months by not following through.

This was the most random fact that was shared. Because of the way I wrote the survey I have no idea who it's from (although thanks to survey monkey I just clicked a link and found out who it is, but I won't out you!)

Have you ever surveyed you blog readers?

meanwhile, in other news

I was invested as a Joey Scout Leader at the start of September.

I've set up a facebook page for my blog.
Now if you want to keep your profile personal, you can still see my blog.
{but I'd still love you to be friends with me!}
Click the picture above, or on the right hand side to be taken there.

The postman finally brought this book to me

I tried to make a padded bag for my instax.
I forgot to allow for seams (and all the padding)
back to the drawing board.

Riley has learnt how to work the "mamra" on our iGadets.
There are lots of photos like this on each of them.

Ignore the super-unflattering photo, and check out the funky bike.
Notice the trailer on the back - all the elements for mum-bike-rides-with-small-children
{I had forgotten how much fun it is to ride a bike, and how many muscles you use!}

I remember

I remember  |  waking up, and turning the tv on

I remember  |  wondering why there was video footage of planes from the war

I remember  |  the pain in my stomach when I realised it wasn't old war footage

I remember  |  Chloe asking "why did that plane hit the building?"

I remember  |  going to class at university, but not being able to concentrate because everyone was talking/thinking/watching the horror unfold

I remember  |  crying. and feeling lost. and hugging Chloe tighter.

I remember  |  2977 people who died that day.

I remember  |  and won't ever forget.