Wednesday 30 January 2013

ebb? or flow?

The kids are back at school. We survived the "ex"cyclone last weekend. Husband has been off work for two days because of power outages. Today I've planned six months of cub scouts programs.

We muddle through the days, often with the sound of the tv in the background.

Riley sings "miss polly had a dolly" with funny word changes

Steve says "is this all you do all day?"

the rhythm of our days feels messed up, out of sorts

but it's still early days after the holidays, so that will change as we pick up speed again.

This year, I'm only leading one scout section. But Natalie is starting joeys, meaning I'll still be out a couple of nights each week, and meetings every other Monday. But I hope the pace will be slower, less expected of me.

But, I know that come July, my focus will change. That's taking some getting used to. There were no plans for more children, we've been quite happy, learning and loving the children we have. So making this adjustment feels... strange. I'm already making plans, but it still feels surreal. Is this really happening?

Well, yes, it is, I remind myself each time I lean over the toilet bowl.

so we move with the days, sometimes blindly, sometimes with conscious effort, always looking forward to the next step of our journey.

Maybe one day I'll figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

1 comment

  1. Oh, your writing is so evocative ... Hoping that the jumbly out-of-sorts feeling settles. And empathising with the sickness: it is truly grim having it all day every day (I know). Sending warm thoughts your way ...


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