the power of one

As Caitlin and I sat watching the kids dig themselves into a big hole yesterday, I was reminded of a post from Picklebums a couple of years ago.

The power of one child is something that I notice every now and again. I looked for Natalie on 3 separate occasions as we sat on the beach, but she was most noticeable in her absence of noise. No one was hitting others, no one was yelling. They just played, together, even Douglas.

That's not to say that Natalie causes those behaviours; she can play just as nicely with Riley or Douglas when the other is missing, if they are otherwise occupied.

Meaning that last week, when Douglas was interstate visiting his big brothers, Natalie and Riley were less than stellar in their behaviour.

One is also powerful when adding to the mix. Caiden and Lana come over once a week while Caitlin and James work later. They will usually play well together with Riley and Natalie, but when Douglas gets home from school, patterns shift and behaviour changes, and five don't play well again.

Eventually Sophie will want to be a part of this mass. Maybe she will be the critical point where things change? But good or bad, one child is noticeable by their presence or absesnce.

Do you notice the power of one?

ebb? or flow?

The kids are back at school. We survived the "ex"cyclone last weekend. Husband has been off work for two days because of power outages. Today I've planned six months of cub scouts programs.

We muddle through the days, often with the sound of the tv in the background.

Riley sings "miss polly had a dolly" with funny word changes

Steve says "is this all you do all day?"

the rhythm of our days feels messed up, out of sorts

but it's still early days after the holidays, so that will change as we pick up speed again.

This year, I'm only leading one scout section. But Natalie is starting joeys, meaning I'll still be out a couple of nights each week, and meetings every other Monday. But I hope the pace will be slower, less expected of me.

But, I know that come July, my focus will change. That's taking some getting used to. There were no plans for more children, we've been quite happy, learning and loving the children we have. So making this adjustment feels... strange. I'm already making plans, but it still feels surreal. Is this really happening?

Well, yes, it is, I remind myself each time I lean over the toilet bowl.

so we move with the days, sometimes blindly, sometimes with conscious effort, always looking forward to the next step of our journey.

Maybe one day I'll figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

how do you define | religion?

I didn't grow up in a religious household. My mum grew up Catholic, my dad was Anglican (Church of England - are they the same thing?), and dad was of the opinion that you didn't need to go to a special building to believe (although I have no idea if he did believe, the conversations never went further than that.)

{source}

When I was young (probably 7-8), mum started taking my sister and I (and eventually my brother) to the local Catholic church. We went to mass on Sundays, and attended Religious Instruction on Thursday afternoons. She made me a dress for my First Communion, but sometime shortly after that we stopped going. I have no idea why, and I never questioned it.

When I was pregnant with Chloe, her dad, an Anglican, and I couldn't agree on a religion to bring our child up in, but felt that it was important to introduce religion in some form. We held a naming ceremony for her first birthday (three days after her father left us - but that's another story), and from around the age of four, until sixish, we attended services at a Presbyterian church a friend had introduced us to.

And now I don't do anything. It's not even a subject I can discuss with Steve (who is Catholic, but put off by his mother's attitude. She told him recently that it was okay for her to "take petrol money" out of the tithes she collects when visiting the elderly and unwell.) And I'm torn - I'm not sure that I believe, but I'm not sure that I don't believe, either.

Is religion important in your life? How did you come to your decision?

right now

{sunset at Shorncliffe last Sunday}

listening to Bones on tv, and the kids laughing in the courtyard

eating a lemon tart

drinking a hot cup of tea

wearing slippers with holes just starting to form

feeling unsure, a little sad, but excited to try something new in a couple of weeks

wanting to have a couple of hours to myself

needing to figure out Douglas' costume for tonight

thinking I should walk on the treadmill

enjoying the little bit of sunshine each day

wondering why I keep wondering about someone who obviously doesn't wonder about me

What are you wondering today?