inspiring and encouraging mums of big kids (because little kids grow up) to create family adventure every day

Tuesday, 13 January 2015

stop glorifying busy

There's this girl I know - she's got a couple of kids, and a husband, and works a full time job from home. I caught a post from her on facebook the other day, lamenting that yet another friend had dropped her for being a bad friend, and she was full of justification "I'm busy, I work, and the kids, and the husband, and..."

That's about where I switched off in the conversation. Because I get it. I'm the mum who has a baby that doesn't like sleeping during the day. And the mum who has other kids to deal with. And the husband. I get it.

But here's the thing - it's not the first time she's lamented this. She's a repeat offender.

And you know what? It's ok. It's ok to be so busy that you don't know if you're coming or going. It's ok to be so busy that when the kids finally collapse into bed, you lay on the couch thinking "I can't be bothered"

But. And it's a big but. It's not ok to use it as an excuse for lazy* behaviour. Because not responding to text messages? Not responding to PMs? That's just lazy. Especially when you can take the time to respond promptly to facebook comments and instagram messages.

Remember my mantra? "If it's important, you'll find a way; if not, you'll find excuses" Busy has become an excuse. You should be finding a way to connect.

* definition of lazy - unwilling to use energy


Are you always busy? When did you last connect with a friend?
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15 comments

  1. I love this post, Cate! I know a couple people like this and have "unfollowed" them on Facebook because it's so annoying to read their complaints over and over and over. I always think, "If you are THAT busy and overwhelmed, get off Facebook!!!"

    (Not sure what happened to my other comment...if you get duplicates please delete one for me.) :o)

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  2. I saw my friend yesterday :)

    The beauty of facebook is that even if you are busy you can still have conversations with people while doing other things.

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  3. I like that straight talk and pleased to have found your blog. I reckon if we are going to be lazy we should be consciously so, rather than using busyness and fear as excuses. Of course I don't always practice what I preach.

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  4. All the yes!! Heck I'm busy but a pm or msg every now and then to keep in touch is not asking much. I am slack to organise actual meet ups with the few friends I do have and have often pulled the too busy card but I really must MAKE the time - which I am totally doing right after this!! Thanks for the reminder xx

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  5. So very true! I'm would refer to myself as more anti-social than busy or lazy haha my good friends know it. Oh & there's the driving phobia that affects my social life a tad but I'm great at staying connected digitally lol it's hard to juggle all aspects of life but important to do our best.

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  6. I think business isn't so much an excuse as a way of life. People, especially women, seem to think that they have to justify their existence by being busy all the time - whatever happened to the expression "Stop and smell the roses" or as my grandmother used to say "Do one thing at a time and do it well".

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  7. Very true! I've had friends who have smsed to say they are inundated with work and will get in contact soon which they do. It's courtesy and doesn't take long especially if you have time to update Facebook!

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  8. Great post Cate...I really do try and keep in touch with people and get really annoyed when I realise they are not reciprocating xx

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  9. So I was confronted, because honestly I've used that busy excuse in the past. Not so much these days, but definitely before.
    I like your mantra. I think I'll keep that one in mind.

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  10. You have NAILED it! I say I'm busy when I'm just too lazy or tired or don't want to actually too something! I get very insulted when people I know are always on their phones don't respond to my text. Just rude! Wishing you and your family a very happy and healthy 2015!

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  11. I usually unfollow 'friends' who constantly complain. I don't need to hear it. There definitely is a difference between busy and lazy, wish more people knew it.

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  12. That's a good mantra. I think though, there may be a distinction between being busy (saying your busy) and being overwhelmed. But again, it's not an excuse. It's something you have to deal with step by step to see clearly.

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  13. I agree - we find time for the things that are important to us!

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  14. Yes, I have always believed the more you do, the more you can achieve. We always find time for the things that are important to us and friends are high on my list!

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  15. Hear hear! If people spent less time moaning about how busy they are, they'd get more done and wouldn't be so stressed. It's often the busiest people who don't feel the need to tell everyone!

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I love reading comments from you. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts. xox

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