Things I'd Tell My Daughter

Dear Chloe

You set off on your big adventure at the end of this week (I'm guessing not many of your friends are moving to the other side of the country to study)

I know, after chatting to you on the weekend, that you're pretty independent. I mean, you always have been, but you've more or less brought yourself up the last few years, and that means that the adults around you failed you, and I'm sorry.

But I can try to make things better moving forward, if you'll let me.

So let me offer some mum-advice as you head off. Make of it what you will, but I hope you at least take the time to hear me out.

Make a home for yourself I know that you're just going into a dorm room, and you're already worrying about what will happen at the end of the year (as am I), but make that space comfortable (not messy), and take the time to decorate it.

Don't binge Having been a first year student, and worked with first year students, I know the culture. Whether it's food or alcohol, or freedom, don't binge on it. Enjoy life responsibly.

Ask for help This is a tough one, Miss Independent. But you won't have all the answers, and someone else will. Whether it's help with an assessment, or grocery money, it really is ok to ask for help.

Capture memories In twenty years time, when you're safely back in Queensland, thawing out, your children will ask you about your time in Tasmania. Take lots of photos. Write things down in a diary. When you visit Salamanca Markets, write about the overwhelming smells, and the crowds of people. These are the things you will want to remember when your mind is failing.

Explore Tying in with that point above, you need to explore the area. Don't get to Tasmania, and spend every waking moment studying, and every sleeping moment sleeping. Make a plan to down books regularly and hop on a bus or go for a walk, and learn about the historical place around you (and visit the penguins. And the chocolate factory. And the cheese places.)

Remember you are loved I know right now it feels hard. But with the space of distance and time you will see that we all did what we thought was best at the time. Turns out we were wrong, but that doesn't mean we love you any less. Please remember that in those quiet moments of introspection.

Enjoy the adventure I have to keep thinking that this experience has an end in sight, otherwise my mumma-heart might break. But I know that I can't keep you close forever, and have to let you do the growing up you need to do. Above all else, enjoy your adventure.

Love you.

linking up with Essentially Jess

Facebook Official

Dear Chloe

so it's official

(well, facebook official at least)

You've got a boyfriend

I have to say, my heart leapt into my mouth

I was both excited and worried for you

Excited, because I remember those little butterflies

But worried, too

It's a big step, my girl

To give your heart to someone

Hearts are so fragile, they break

I worry about your heart

Oh, I know you have strong foundations

and Granma has looked after you for the last four years

but I'm mum, I worry.

Enjoy it, dear girl

Enjoy the talking, the laughs, the fun, the growing

Enjoy the journey.

linking with Essentially Jess

Year 12 isn't important

Dear Chloe

I know it's totally not PC to tell you this, but year 12 is irrelevant.

I know you're currently stressing about remembering everything for your exams, but you don't need to.

I know you're wondering if your grades will be good enough for university, and they will be.

Because, dear girl, you are good enough.

You know the work, even if you might struggle to recall under exam conditions. 

Trust me when I tell you that once I joined the workforce, I never encountered exam conditions again.

You will get in to university, if that is your goal, even if it isn't next year.

You won't ever write an analysis of a book you hated again, unless writing book reviews becomes your job.

Because, dear girl, you are good enough.

The important part of year 12 is you learning how you work.

The important part of year 12 is you understanding how all these strings work together to put you in the same basket as everyone else.

You are not the same as everyone else, you are uniquely Chloe, with your flawed parents, and your unusual experiences, and your best friends that make up you.

You are awesome, Chloe, and I've got your back.

You will rock it.

But if you don't, you'll try again.

Do you think year 12 results are important in twenty years time?

Linking up with weekend Rewind at Maxabella Loves and A Life Less Frantic 

 

Dear Chloe | Today you are Seventeen

Today's prompt write a letter to someone. It's Chloe's birthday today, so I'm going to write my annual letter to her. Is there someone in your life you need to write to?

Dear Chloe

What an amazing young woman you have grown into.

(but I can still see pieces of the little girl you were)

You know what I realised yesterday as I wrapped your present up (late) to send?

Soon you'll be gone.

And not the same way you're gone now,

But, you'll be living your own life, wherever that path leads you.

You're on the path to adulthood, making your own decisions, living your own way.

And I know that we've all made mistakes with you

But I also know that you've overcome those mistakes to become the person you are today.

Loving. Respectful. Friendly. Thoughtful.

All the things that any parent hopes for their children.

You have become an amazing almost-adult

Your journey to awesome adult is almost complete.

Happy Birthday, Chloe.

Tomorrow's prompt wordless wednesday share a photo from yesterday 

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An InLinkz Link-up

things I'd tell my daughter

dear chloe

oh, man, did I cry when I saw you at the wedding

I started crying the second Douglas yelled across the ar park that you were here

someone had said to me earlier in the day "I don't think I'd recognise her"

but they were quickly proven wrong

because you still look like Choe, but somehow, more

your voice has changed, your words are more thoughtful

{I'm sure there's still a moody teen somewhere in there}

but how my heart burst with pride!

and everyone was just as excited to see you as I was

you were gracious, and polite, and I saw a small bounce of excitement when you saw Sophie

{maybe you want to FaceTime with all the kids occasionally? and me?}

and we talked. you, Steve and I.

We talked about the paths we've all walked over the last two years

and we brought our paths closer together again

I'm not claiming it's fixed, but we're speaking

baby steps are the start

dear chloe | today you are sixteen

when I turned 16, I was woken up to the sounds of Neil Sedaka singing "happy birthday sweet sixteen", and I've waited 16 years to be able to do it for you

my dream for you, sweet girl, is that you can let go of all the crap we, as your parents, have left you with

my dream for you, sweet girl, is that you find someone to share your stories with, and that I can be part of that story

my dream for you, sweet girl, is that you remember one day that you are loved and cherished, even with the distance between us

my dream for you, sweet girl, is that all your birthdays are special

my dream for you, sweet girl, is that one day you find your place in the world

my dream for you, sweet girl, is that you see yourself as beautiful, like I do

my dream for you, sweet girl, is that one day you read the words written here, and understand

my dream for you, sweet girl, is that one day I will hold you in my arms again

happy birthday, Chloe

you are so very loved, and missed