Thursday 25 February 2016

Are you getting a job now?

I was honestly shocked the first time I was asked if I was going to get a job now that Sophie was starting daycare. It had never occurred to me that people would think that, let alone actually voice it to me. (And the people who asked if it was time for another baby can bite me.)

My answer was a straight up "no way!", and I laughed it off. But why is that the first thought that jumps into people's minds? Am I not doing enough for them?

Because that's the key isn't it?


I have always believed that teenagers need a parent home when they get home, much more than little kids do. And Steve supports that. (And little kids do need a parent at home as well.)

And, despite what Douglas thinks, I'm not sitting at home doing nothing. I volunteer in Riley's classroom, I help the P&C, I run a community page on facebook, and I have this space that keeps me busy. As well as the regular running of the household (but let's not talk about housework)

So why the pressure to "get a job"? Is it because a job pays money, so I would be "contributing"? Or is it because stereotypes exist? Or, really, did those people just not think that it was ok for me to send Sophie to daycare and use the time for me?

What do you think? 
Is it ok for mums to stay home? 
Is volunteer work "enough"?
Is it time for stereotypes to change?



  1. I definitely think kids of all ages benefit from a parent at home. I've found that those parents are usually some of the busiest people I know.

    I have a different problem - I don't even have the "excuse" of kids for not working. LOL I'm blessed not to have to work, so I don't, but it's terribly hard when people want to know what I do all day!

  2. I think our whole education system would fall apart without parent volunteers - and who else would they be but parents (usually mums) at home during school hours? It's still contributing.

    1. No doubt this wont get published, but plenty of working mums and dads volunteer too.

  3. I think society expects us to work if we don't have kids at home fulltime. T keeps saying I'll go back to work when she's in school, but I still don't know how people manage to have both parents working fulltime and keep up with all the school stuff.

    The problem is everyone else thinks everyone's business is their business so they don't think twice about voicing an opinion. But come on now you totally want another baby, right?! {Don't smack me next time you see me}.

  4. I'm dealing with my own inner pressure to work and contribute "financially" to the household - though that's not new, that's been there since our second baby was born, but she's now in kindy 3 days a week, so I feel it even more strongly.

    Though I've only really been asked the more general - what am I planned to do with my spare time, and that's been from other SAHMs who have kids in school/kindy and they're more asking - sooooooo when are we going out for lunch? lol.

  5. I stayed home until my youngest was in middle school (6,7 & 8th grades.) By then I was going stir crazy at home. I don't know if I'd have stayed home more if there would have been less arguing and problems or not. I do know that my sanity was saved for a while. Then, after working for 15 years my sanity was again in danger of leaving me so I retired. As for more babies - after two there were no more. And two, for me, was more than enough. For others, eight would not be enough. Do what works for you - not your friends, not your in-laws - what works for YOU. The same goes for working for money. If you and yours decide the family needs the income you'd provide and you're willing - then you'll do it and do your best to make it work. Both issues are really only your (and your husband's) business.

  6. Facing a lot of these questions, now....everyone does expect me to go back to work now my baby is getting bigger. I can tell you (and you would get it); I AM WORKING! I have never worked so hard in all my life! But the rewards are pretty golden. Cheers.


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