how do you define | friendship

 is it the girls I've been meeting with once a month since June 2003 to discuss books and eat chocolate cake?

or the friend from high school who lives two states away, but doesn't bat an eyelash when she gets a message via facebook that says "can you email me a photo of you, please, because I've got to write this blog post"

Or the far away friends that I may never meet, but they bring a smile to my face when they share their stories.

I've been focusing on the negatives a lot lately, because that seemed like the easiest thing to focus on. But I've had enough of that, so I'm going to try and turn negatives into positives. This is my first positive from the oft-spoke lament "I have no friends"

is reverbing changing your life?

It must be, because it's changing mine!

 I have a feeling that my one little word for 2011 is making an appearance in my life! (Have you seen the new class from Ali Edwards at Big Picture Classes? I'm signing up!)

I've going to choose ten blogs each day from the list of participants, and read and comment on their blogs. It will take me out of my comfort zone, and get me back in the habit of commenting, something I tend to shy away from. Did you know there are over 2000 blogs registered, and over 3000 people signed up to receive email prompts? Now that's one big community!

How is #reverb10 touching your life?

#reverb 10 - 5

I'm putting this out there in the hopes that getting it out is better than holding it in.

Ali Edwards linked to it at the end of last month, and Lee Currie also shared a link, but it wasn't until Saturday that I really got a chance to have a look and think about whether I wanted to join in. I signed up for the prompts, and decided to just share whichever prompts speak to me, in the most authentic way possible.

The first prompt to hit my inbox was day five - Let go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

I let go of my mums group this year. In fact, it was only in October that I let them go. We had been together since Natalie was 6 weeks old, but I never felt totally comfortable and part of the group.

There's lots of reasons for the break-up, most of them I've probably blown out of proportion, but if being around someone makes you feel bad about yourself, you can't be around that someone any more, and I had been subjecting myself for over a year and feeling unhappy about it.


I don't feel 100% better about the break-up, either. I know that continuing to go wasn't making me feel good, but the kids have lost contact with other kids, and we hardly ever get out of the house now. And one of the reasons that the Celebrate Friendship blog hop was hard for me to write about was because

I've deleted the above paragraph about five times now. I'm really not clear on my thoughts about my mums group anymore. I wasn't happy going any more, and I constantly felt out of place and unsupported by the group (some people more than others). Yes, I'm sad about the tenuous friendships that I have now lost. Yes, I am sad that my kids won't be able to forge long-lasting friendships with kids they've grown up with. I miss the routine of getting ready, and catching up with others, and occasionally others stopped and saw me for five minutes.

I don't miss the tears I cried each day driving home, sad because my efforts to talk to others were undermined by children needing mum to push the swing/get food or drink/change nappies. Sad because when others were down I always put my hand up to share in the cheering up, but no one reciprocated. Sad because I compared myself (my clothes, my hair, my parenting abilities, my poise) to the other mothers and found myself lacking.

#reverb10 - 7

Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, this year? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

This is another prompt that has my heart a-flutter... Can I be honest, and answer truthfully, or will I write it, and leave it sitting as a draft file for the next few months? (The "letting go" prompt is hanging, waiting to be deleted, because I'm not sure if I can finish writing it, and lay my soul bare for all the world to see.)

The quickest, most honest answer is that I don't have a community. Yes, I spend a lot of time hanging around on facebook, but it's only been in the last week or so that I actually communicate with people through facebook - I have mostly posted status updates, and commented on others' posts. When I lost my scrap-mojo last year I dropped off the scrapping forum I loved; as Riley has gotten older I've struggled to keep up with other September mums on the parenting forum we all met on.

In 2011, I'd like to create a crafty community that gathers regularly. I'd like a playgroup community for the kids to play at. I'd like to cultivate my blog community.